These words have been inside of me longing to be released into the wind for almost five years. This piece is my attempt to understand a disease that took the life of someone I was close to and an attempt to bring awareness to the issue of mental health.
A Suicide Letter
If you are reading this then it means I was successful in ending my life. I feel the need to leave you with these words to try to help you understand. You have been an amazing friend, like the sister I wish I had and I will miss our crazy times together. BUT, this is something I have to do. I have been in pain for a long time now, some of which you understand but most of which you will never be able to. Because you have mastered the ability to move on when life throws you a curve ball and somehow I always seem to drown in my emotions. I tried to tell myself for so long that it would pass, that this is just temporary, but I can’t get the fog to fade away.
Love you always.
Its been a few years since you left and I’m still trying to understand. I still blame myself for not seeing the signs. I wish you had reached out for help because things are so messed up with you being gone. I don’t think your mom will ever be the same. Nobody talks about your suicide and I get it, its too painful. Instead we just reminisce about the good times, while we silently cry on the inside.
Still wishing you were here.
Please talk to someone if you have thought about or are considering suicide.
Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention
Canadian Mental Health Association
Bell Let’s Talk
Kids Help Phone
Anxiety Panic Support (List of Resources by country)
Honouring Life (Aboriginal Youth)
Mental Health Commission of Canada
The Mood Disorders Society of Canada
The Jack Project
Your Life Counts
Your Life Counts Military Directorate
CMHA British Columbia division
Here To Help
Youth In B.C.
CMHA Alberta Division
Centre for Suicide Prevention
Suicide Information & Education Services
CMHA Saskatchewan Division
Saskatoon Crisis Intervention Service
CMHA Manitoba Division
Manitoba Suicide Line
CMHA Yukon Division
- (867) 668-7144
CMHA Northwest Territories Division
CMHA Ontario Division
Ontario Association for Suicide Prevention Inc.
Distress Centres Ontario
York Region Information and Volunteer Centre
Distress Centres of Toronto
Waterloo Region Suicide Prevention Council
Hincks-Dellcrest Treatment Centre
Schizophrenia Society of Ontario
- www.acsm.qc.ca/ (French)
Suicide Action Montreal
- (514) 723-4000
Centre De prevention Du Suicide Du Haut-Richelieu
Newfoundland & Labrador
CMHA Newfound & Labrador Division
Coalition Against Violence
CMHA New Brunswick Division
Prince Edward Island
CMHA Prince Edward Island Division
CMHA Nova Scotia Division
Mental Health Foundation of Nova Scotia