I was talking to a friend a few months ago, who was feeling frustrated with her weight and I said to her …”the key is to be happy with your body as it is now!” Her response was… but if I am happy with my body as it is now then it means that I’ll probably never loose the weight. I’ve thought about her response for a while now and feel that many people might agree, but that perspective might be the problem. You see the world teaches us that being happy is a destination. You will be happy if you loose the weight, get the high paying job, the bigger house, find the right mate etc. Yet the evidence shows us that when we achieve our goal, our happiness does not undergo a dramatic shift.
For the next few minutes I want you to think of yourself as energy.
I believe when we don’t love our body we create energy and the energy is negative. We keep sending ourselves the message that we dislike or hate something about ourselves and that creates negative energy and that negative energy causes us to beat ourselves up and get stuck in an endless cycle of negativity. We binge and diet and sometimes we hit a good stretch, only to spiral back to the beginning or worse than when we began.
Have you ever been around a very negative person? Someone that you could feel their energy from a mile away? Our natural reaction is to flee and yet imagine being trapped with that person and having no where to go. That is what we do to ourselves when we don’t love our body. We get stuck in the negative self talk and we beat ourselves up and nothing changes.
When you focus on loving yourself as you are now, you create positive energy instead. Once I began to embrace the body I have, I saw the ways I could enhance my body. I said “girl this body is curvy, how can we work with this?” For me the answer was weights and toning. There is no weight in my head that I’m trying to get to; I just want to have my body be as healthy as possible. I am not killing myself on the treadmill or restricting myself diet wise but I’m trying to nourish my body so that it lasts for as long as possible. I found by changing my thinking to I love my body flaws and all… The shift in thinking generated positive energy that is helping me to achieve goals I was never able to before.
If you feel you’re stuck in the negative body self talk try changing the conversation. Look at your body and find one thing that you love. Accentuate what you love and look at small ways you can enhance areas that you like or feel could be improved.
Even if you find the previous suggestion too hard at first, just being aware of your internal dialogue about your body can help. Because the first step to change is realizing that there is a problem.
May we all learn to love our bodies so that the little people that look up to us grow into women/men that love their bodies.